Funnyisms...

Blind Transfer: when someone calls your office phone and you transfer them to a random number from a department you chose just because you either can't find the correct number or you don't feel like looking it up

EX-HOLE: your asshole ex-husband, ex-boyfriend or just plain ex. It's a phrase used to refer to a person you used to date that you can't stand

Alcoholics and drug addicts are the only people on earth who refuse to give a life of failure without a fight!

The only thing we take away from this world is what we gave away

Treatment center: a place you go & pay $15,000 to find out recovery meetings are free!!!

If God were small enough to be understood He wouldn't be big enough to be God!!!

Resentments are like stray cats; if you don't feed them they'll go away

I often obsessively pursue feeling good, no matter how bad it makes me feel

I didn't think I had any obsessions until I started thinking about it. Then, it was all I could think about!

If God brings you to it He'll bring you through it!!!

If you're not happy with what you have, what makes you think you'll be happy with more????

People who judge don't matter, those who matter don't judge!

My net worth is not my self worth!

It's when you act in faith that you eventually have it!

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans

Never regret growing old, it's a privileged denied to many!

You won't learn much from people that agree with you

Non- alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics!

When you don't face reality, reality faces you!

You will be rich when you know you have enough

Learn from the mistakes from others, you may not live long enough to make them all yourself

Relax, God didn't save you from drowning just to beat you up on the beach!!!!

I can't do His way my way... I have held many things in my hand & lost them all but whatever I have placed in God's hands I still possess